Judd Trichter

Poem

Judd — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 22:31:23 +0000

SINNER

I got the patience of a sinner,
The hour’s always getting late.
I got the table set for dinner
But ain’t nothin’ on my plate.

I got a nickel in my pocket,
It’s gotta last from now till June.
I got a million dollar rocket
In a junkyard on the moon.

I got a double barrel shotgun,
That I’m stickin’ in my mouth.
I might be goin’ off to heaven,
Or I might be headin’ south.

Tell my mother that I loved her,
Tell my wife I did my best,
Tell that sonofabitch my father,
I’ll be waitin’ for his death.

I got a nasty reputation,
For bailin’ out when things get rough.
I got a baby girl named Mooey,
She don’t like me and that’s tough.

Friday Post

Judd — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 23:38:33 +0000

Working on a pilot called Shylock. It’s about a loan shark trying to go legit in Los Angeles. Will update blog soon. Hopefully with good news.

Parable Written in Solitary Confinement

Judd — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 05:54:40 +0000

The man in solitary thought to himself that there are other prisoners not more than five feet away from me. Less than the length of a man, and yet I can find no way to reach them, such is the fortitude of the prison.

And it occurred to the man that the universe is built in the same horrible way: it is statistically likely that there are billions of civilizations on planets spread about the universe. But it is unlikely that any being can reach the speed necessary to travel between these civilizations or even communicate. Think of the problems one planet could solve for another! The art exchanged, the wisdom, the music, the love. Think of the problems one could cause the other.

The man thought to himself, if there is a God, perhaps he did this on purpose. An evil and greedy civilization could destroy or corrupt one that is not as evil and greedy. So perhaps God planted the seeds far enough away from each other so that one could grow to be strong and right and innocent without its being corrupted. Its only burden being the anger it suppressed toward God for locking it in solitary confinement.

Regrets

Judd — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 05:43:56 +0000

I have so many regrets. You know those people who say, “I regret nothing, I have no regrets, why regret?” Those people piss me off. Bunch of liars or deniers. Or maybe they’re just those non-self-reflective types who plow through life like the proverbial bull in the china shop, knocking everything down then clearing out the store before the police show. I’m not one of those people. I regret everything. More than anything, I regret all the shit I haven’t done. I never learned to speak a second language. I studied Latin in school and there’s no one I can speak it to on account of it being a dead language and all. I tried to study French in college but I quit on it. Which I regret. I never learned to surf. Or box. Or snowboard. Or work an Avid. Or use Final Cut. I never wrote a novel in my twenties like I should have. I wrote screenplays instead, and none of those ever got made, so it ended up being a waste. I regret leaving New York to become an actor in Hollywood. I think the sum total of all the television work I did was shit, and I would have been better off had I stuck with stage work in New York. I was much better on stage than I ever was on film or television. So that’s another regret. I regret that I never became a better swimmer. I’m actually doing something about that one now. I started swimming laps at the gym today. I did three before I was out of breath. There was a midget in the next lane who was lapping me. This little midget could swim. She was chopping up the water and making waves while I was struggling not to drown. I regret that I quit wrestling when I did. I was a pretty good wrestler and maybe I could have been great had I not quit. But I committed to acting instead and that ended up being something I regret. I regret that I didn’t take a Wall Street job out of college. I could have worn a suit for three years and learned a few things. I could have made friends with some people with money. I could have paid off my loans. Instead I went to Hollywood and started smoking heroin, which I regret. That didn’t do shit for me. Just wasted time. I regret that I didn’t seek therapy for all those years that I was afraid to try something new. I regret I didn’t stick with writing that blog I used to write. If I had kept to a short story a month I’d have books full of short stories by now. But I didn’t, so now I just have a stack of screenplays, most of which I regret ever having written. I regret a few parts I turned down as an actor that could have provided me with easy money that I could have used to do something else, like finance one of those screenplays I wrote. I regret that I didn’t start my own tutoring business instead of working for Princeton Review all these damn years for a shitty wage and no benefits. I regret that I haven’t travelled more or seen more of the world or tried more things or tackled more fears. I never had the money or the time. I regret every relationship I didn’t commit to, even the ones that were destined to fail, as all of them were. No matter. I regret them anyway. I regret all the parties I didn’t show up to, and all the ones I did. The ones I didn’t show up to were awesome. The ones I attended were dead. I regret I stopped hanging out with that girl who gave me the great blowjobs and never asked anything in return. What was I thinking? I started feeling guilty, I guess, but she didn’t care. And I ain’t had a blowjob that good since.

I started writing this post because I was afraid if I didn’t, I’d regret it. Now, I’m going to publish it and probably regret that too.

Discipline

Judd — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 20:44:24 +0000

I think one of the key disciplines in writing is to stop asking yourself is this good and instead to ask yourself is this finished? In fact, any question is better than is this good? Is it honest? Is it succinct? Is it as simple as it can possibly be? Is it necessary and relevant? Good is too hard to quantify.

I hope this blog isn’t becoming a self-help thing.

The Third Act

Judd — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 21:27:34 +0000

The third act is a bitch. That’s where you have to confront what it is you believe and what it is you’re trying to say. It’s also where you begin to suspect that your structural plan might be at fault: perhaps the journey you set out on has no end.

The trick, I believe, is faith. If you know you did a proper set up — if you know you didn’t take any short cuts along the way — the ending is waiting for you if you have the equipoise to find it. Try not to get too flustered, and don’t expect it to be easy to find. The fact that the third is the shortest of the three acts does not mean it will take less time to write. In my experience, it can take longer to write the third act than it does the rest of the story.

I hope this advice serves someone other than myself.

Health Care

Judd — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 15:34:33 +0000

I’m watching Obama as he prepares to sign the bill. This is history. This is real progress. This is what we hoped for when we elected this man. Of course the bill isn’t perfect, but it’s a damn sight better than what we had before. Mazul Tov! People will be alive tomorrow because of what is being done today. This is truly a mitzvah.

En Route

Judd — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 08:55:12 +0000

Going to New York in the morning. Hate flying. Me and everyone else. I always get this awful thought in my head when I take my seat that the face of the person sitting next to me will be the last one I ever see.

Watched Sugar tonight. Good film. Touching. Americans aren’t so bad, are they? We’re good to Dominican baseball players. At least the ones who throw over 95 and don’t fool with our white women, who want nothing more than to bring Jesus to their pagan souls.

Write every word like it’s your last.

What do I pack? I wish I had nicer clothes. My mother’s going to tell me how fat I am, whether I’m fat or not. My brother’s going to tell me how fat I am, same.

Do they show movies on planes anymore? I guess not. Hollywood movies got so bad no one would watch them anymore. Everyone just plugs into their little devices and entertains his or her self. No food either. You have to buy it. And pay for your luggage to fit under the plane. And pay for a headset so you can listen to this loop of music that comes in with static. Always that innocuous set of hits by U2 and Keith Urban. Or that awful music they play at the gym. And half the time the entertainment package isn’t working. They apologize for the inconvenience. Fuck your apology. I paid good money for this ticket, I want to hear those Goddamn U2 songs that I haven’t heard since I parked my car. Partial refund for the lack of in flight entertainment. Partial refund for the delay and the fact that my bag didn’t arrive at the airport when I did. Good luck. The customer is always right became the customer will always give in.

We’re good people, Americans. We just let it slip away. Got too greedy. Started to believe our own myths.

Regretting

Judd — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:07:49 +0000

I’m already regretting blogging again. Time consuming. Opening me up to trouble. Doesn’t pay the bills. That and I can never decide on a theme or a format for my blog. Perhaps one of my readers — if I have any still — can recommend a better theme on WordPress? Maybe one that would inspire me to write more?

I should start blogging again

Judd — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 08:37:31 +0000

This is a new format for me. Still figuring out WordPress since Rudius shut down. Hope to blog more soon. Best.

-judd