Judd Trichter | www.juddtrichter.com
The Contract
It got to the point where I was no longer poor — I was wretched. Like something out of a Dickens novel. My clothes were torn in places where it is not fashionable for clothes to be torn. I couldn’t afford to eat, let alone pay my bills, and Sally Struthers was calling my house [...]
McElection (2004)
I was still suffering from post-election depression when I got the call. It was my agent.
“You’re needed in Denver to do a commercial for the McRib.”
“No way I’m working for those swine,” I told her. “Do you know what they put in those things? The way they treat their employees? How much deforestation their cattle [...]
The Oprah Incident
Years ago, Oprah Winfrey tried in vain to recruit me into her flock by sending me coded messages through the metal fillings in my teeth. On the advice of my physician, friends, and family, I had my fillings removed, stopped watching her show, and canceled my subscription to O Magazine. For a time, my life [...]